Courage My Love - February 14, 2011

It's Valentine's Day!! Love is in the air. Unfortunately none of it is coming my way... I did get a red rose from Wayne on Saturday, which was nice, but if you knew Wayne you would know neither one of us was getting lucky (ex-seminarian, ex-alcoholic, anger issues, married to our best friend). It was the thought that counted. We went for dinner at Wayne & Kim's house on Saturday evening and Wayne arrived home with a dozen red roses for his wife (smart man) and one each for Andrea and I.

Love has left me I think, and I am okay with it. I do miss the sex however. I am back to my early teen years where I have crushes on people. Right now it is a toss up who makes my heart throb harder - Mark Harmon or Mark McKuan. I'd  fuck either one of them in a heart beat, but I'd love to snuggle up to one or both of them on any given evening. Be still my beating heart....

So dinner was spectacular, as it usually is when we visit Kim. Prawns and scallops sauteed in garlic butter, fresh sockeye salmon stuffed with crab meat and baked. Jesus wept. It was awesome. I could not finish it, and made sure it went home with me. I provided dessert, which was a baked rubarb and strawberry crumble with Hagen Das.... I am also at the time in my life, where food is better than I remember sex was. Not seriously, but since I'm not getting any, it is a magnificent substitution. Oral fixation and all that.

We did get out of the house for a few hours on the weekend, in addition to dinner on Saturday. That sounds pretty mundane to most of you, but in our lives it is akin to ramping up for an expedition to the Himalaya's. First we fold up the cart and take it out to the car, making sure the basket that goes with it is also there. Then we fill up two, maybe three tanks with liquid oxygen and cart at least two of them to the car. We make sure we have extra tanks of compressed oxygen in the car. And then I have to gather up all my stuff and Andrea gathers up her's and we hook her up to a portable tank and then, and only then are we prepared to spend the next 10 minutes walking the 25 feet to the car.

We have to plan where we are going, not waste any time and have to return home within 2 hours. So on Sunday after the aforementioned prep, we headed out, first to the library to drop off books (she stayed in the car) and then to Safeway for a prescrip pick up (she stayed in the car) and then for gas (she stayed in the car) and finally down to the NW Quay to see how the rennovations are coming along. We checked it out, had a tea and were  home in our prescribed time. Not exciting but about all we can manage these days.

We hear on Wednesday whether or not they will go ahead with the transplant. It's tough waiting, because option number 2 involves dying pretty shortly. Waiting takes courage.