Courage My Love - Feb 11, 2011

Fucking casino. That's all I can say today. Like some crazy whore giving blow jobs, those slot machines sucked me dry. How's that for a picture in your head. Okay, no more casino, at least until the stars and planets align.

At work. Raining. This is different how?? OMG start the freaking weekend already. I am so not here tonight. One of the only guys I like at this place has decided to leave (better offer). Shit. He's one of the boys in my "Men in tight pants picture". Won't tell you which one, because then I would have to kill you.

So, here is the weekend plan.... Saturday morning, hit the market, stock up on food supplies. Saturday afternoon, veg out, read a book, have a nap, make a pot of soup. Saturday night, spend the evening with Kim and Wayne and the girls (yahoo good food, good movies). Sunday morning, sleep in. Late Sunday morning catch up on all the chores you should have done yesterday. Laundry, floors, dusting, change linens, yadda yadda. Sunday afternoon, best take another nap, especially with the pace we're living. Oh don't forget to take books back to Library.

One of the books I'm taking back is Pray, Eat, Love. What was all the fuss about, okay it's mildly amusing if you are a mid 30 something that is not getting laid on a regular basis, and the author is pretty good with words, but it was so overhyped. I really expected Italy to be better, and I am most of the way through India and it makes me snooze. That is so not the India I remember.

My horoscope today said to stop being so critical. Ok. So I should probably stop writing. However, there is little else to do. So, on the good news/bad news front, Andrea and I went for an assessment by the transplant team last week. She has passed from good risk, to high risk for transplant. The drugs they give her to keep her alive (and let her lungs take in air) are killing her kidneys. There is a strong probability that on transplant, or post transplant for the lungs, that the kidneys will fail and she will be on dyalsis. Rock and a hard place. They are still willing to go ahead with the transplant, because the alternative is less than a year of life. So that's a no brainer, go for the transplant. I guess it becomes a quality of life issue. Is it worse to be on dyalisis, or be dead. I'd take the dyalisis. No question.

I set up a blog for her on this site, Andi's Journey, hopefully it will be a never ending story. If you think living takes courage, then you must know that dying really takes courage, my love.