Courage My Love - December 22, 2010

Today we are one day into winter, one day past the full moon, one day past the lunar eclipse but more importantly we are one day into the year to come. As the end of a year approaches I think of cycles, the rise and fall of them, the coming and going of them but always the repeating of them. The major life cycles of birth and death, the minor life cycles of marriage, relationships, family and even the cycles of repeated seasons, tides, and taxes. What was that old verse? A wheel within a wheel a turning, way in the middle of the sky.

I was born into a twelve year cycle with the first six of the cycle waxing and the last six of the cycle waning. It is the pattern of the dragon, my birth sign in the Chinese Horoscope. My 12th, 24th, 36th, and 48th end of cycles were low points in my life, surrounded by chaos, turmoil and heavy burdens. I am currently approaching the end of the 5th cycle and it also has been a difficult journey. The high water marks of the cycles are incredible, marked by love, passion, the birth of a child, money and travel. The low water marks are survivable.

We watch the days go by, the weeks go by, the seasons turning one into the other and if we learn anything from this, it is that life endures. There are times when you think, "I can't possibly go on, I can't make it" but you can and you do. You learn to stop worrying, for worry never improved anything. You learn to deal with what is in front of you, because it won't go away until you do. You put one foot in front of the other, work one day after the other, go to bed each night and rise each morning, knowing that you too, are part of the cycle.

Is this starting to sound like the Lion King? Hakuna Matata? Well hell it was good enough for the lions, it's good enough for me. I was musing, just thinking, the wheel within the wheel thing and realized I am probably not part of that, I'm more like the dust in the road as the wheel rumbles by.

I never wanted the house in the burbs, the 2.5 kids and the husband who goes to work everyday. That world was the vision we were given, but as we all know, that vision imploded. I wanted to travel, paint and write, but work got in the way.

Had I an endless supply of money, I would gladly live in a temperate climate and dabble with paint, and generally live a life of the wastrel. I would however be a generous, even benificent wastrel, given goodly sums to the less fortunate, and I would strive to make the world a better place. Just give me a chance. Give me forty million and I'll show you how good I could be at that job.

I would join that Buffet club and give away a goodly portion of my wealth, how much does one wastrel need anyway? All I want is a house, food and an endless supply of paint and canvas and paper and books. Not too much to ask......

The wealthy must have their own problems, none that in my impoverished state I can identify with. They don't have to worry about the basics, so what do they worry about? I mean if they have more than enough money, like a Buffet or a Gates, what is it that keeps them awake at night?

Being rich, takes courage my love...

Courage My Love - December 21, 2010

Have you ever heard of Dead Pool? I hadn't until I was chatting with someone at work and we were talking about investments. The guy I was talking with had a friend (ya ya, it's always about "I have a friend") who invested in dead pools in the U.S. Because I had never heard of them and could not quite believe what he was saying, I decided to do a little internet research. I now know why the U.S.A. is the icon of all that is evil in the world.

A dead pool is an insurance policy. In effect you are buying someone's life insurance, giving them a cash value payout for it and you become their beneficiary and get the full value of their policy when they die. Is that sick or what? I guess during the Aids crisis, when the death rates were high, this became quite popular.

Think about it, you are sick, you can't work and you know you are going to die. You have a life insurance policy from before you got sick, and it says when you die it will pay out $500,000.00. So Joe Schmoe comes up and says "If you sign your life insurance policy to me as the beneficiary, I will give $150,000.00 cash right now, and I will continue to pay your premiums for as long as you live. Hey you're sick, your life expectancy is about 3 months, the prognosis is death, there ain't no get out of jail free card, but there is this guy willing to give cash right now. What would you do?

So you take the cash, you give it to friends, you throw a last big bash, whatever and then you die. Joe walks away with $350,000.00 profit (his profit decreases the longer you live because he is paying the premiums). Even if the premiums are high, he doesn't care, cause he has you "rated" as a good possibility to die shortly.  If by some miracle, you live for another 50 years, he loses his money but chances are you won't, chances are very good you won't because he has access to all your medical info before he bought your policy.

Since the new drugs for Aids have kind of shrunk that "dead pool", they are now going after seniors. Who cares if the premiums are crazy high, because he knows the one thing you cannot beat is death by old age. Some company will sell you insurance regardless of your age, for a substantial premium.

There are some laws to make this illegal in the States, but it is still quite legal for an "out of state" policy.

What is wrong with people? Don't get me started. They are looking at this as a high return investment. That is beyond sick, it preys upon the most vulnerable, the least able, the sickest, the oldest and the infirm. May the dead pool buyers burn in hell.

Death, especially death, takes courage my love...

Courage My Love, Dec 17, 2010 Part Two

Okay it is later in the day, and I forgot something. See I told you that aging hurts. My comment regarding not finding younger people very smart or very funny is not really true, every once in a while they surprise me. Like at work when I arrived, it was Secret Santa Day and someone bought Mikey and Randy some toy story underwear. Hilarious. Not really. Until they put them on..... now that is funny...

I'll have to keep this photo because I am planning on making a company calendar next year and a photo like this - well talk about a career limiting move! Too funny,

Because I was bored I went cruising some other blogs, jeepers fuck me gently there are some real whackos out there. All these people who blog for the Lord, like he cares. I so don't get people that live their life for Jesus, God, the LDS or the Baptists. Scary. Like since when do we need religious training to live our live in a moral way? Okay I will end up with a sign of Satan on my blog, but get a grip people. Jesus ain't going to sweep down from Heaven and take you in his arms. At best, you will pass from this life peacefully and not screaming like the passengers in my gramma's car (old joke). Oh me oh my, this is worse than lions and tigers and bears! Further down the road, I run into Persian blogs, which unlike Persian rugs, don't make any sense (could be because they are written in Persian or Urdo or Arabic or something). And then, the anti abortionists. Okay I am getting it, it is about free speech and that is good. Cause if it wasn't then they would have locked me up long ago and thrown away the key. I have always preferred disorganized or is it unorganized religion to the alternatives. I look outside and I see creation in the rivers flow, the night sky, the eagle roosting and while I sense a powerful force, I have no overwhelming desire to go to a church or to pray.

Oh this world takes Courage, My Love....

Courage My Love - December 17, 2010

When did they start making doors so heavy? I was in a store today and when I went to leave, I pushed on the door and then I had to push again, the thing weighed like eighty tons. I've started using the gimp openers for doors, you know where you press a button and the door opens automatically. Cars! What about cars? When did they start making cars with seats 2 inches off the ground. I can't get out of the stupid things. I never used to think about stuff like this because it was never an issue.

And stairs! Are we running out of space so quickly on this planet that everything has to go vertical? So many stairs - everywhere, it's totally annoying. By the third step I feel like someone tied twenty pound sacks of flour to my legs.

And how is it that every time I get up out of a chair I am making this old person noise, sort of like an ooomph. The sound doesn't make getting up any easier, but it seems to happen every time. Sit on the floor, I don't think so! Cross legged? Only if I am dead and rigour has not set in...

Aging, wow it's here. Life is the proverbial blink of the eye. I can remember being young, having boundless energy, barely being able to sit still (as opposed to now where I am barely able to sit) and having a body that did not hurt and could take an amazing amount of punishment.

Now I am conserving energy, maybe I burned too much when I was younger. They, who ever they are, say you can be as fit in your sixties as you were in your thirties. Let me tell  you buddy my thirties are a blur in the rear view mirror and consisted mostly of partying, partying and oh yeah, partying. The only fit part of me was some residual internal mechanism I had for telling time even when sleeping, so I could set that internal clock and always get up in time for work.

Getting old is like finding a soft potato in the sack. You know the kind? It's soft, got a few spots on it, sprouting some gnarly looking things but in a pinch you would toss it in the stew pot. It ain't fun being that potato, let me tell you. Everything hurts, and I mean everything.

I used to wake up, get up and go. Now I stumble around for about an hour, tripping over furniture and forgetting what I am doing, and generally need a coffee or two before I can approach being coherent, and even then it is debatable.

Even at work I am noticing the age gap between me and the young uns. I don't find most of the what they talk about very interesting, or very funny. And they are not very smart. Of course, most of them are at the breeding stage of life, where they are either having babies (the girls), thinking about making babies or at least the sex part, maybe not actually making a real baby (the guys). However, I don't find the people my age very interesting either, or very funny or very smart. What can I say.

All I know is that getting old takes Courage, My Love ....

Courage My Love - December 14, 2010

Life for Duncan takes courage right now. I just found out last night that he lost his boat. He has been out of work for about a year and a half, gone through whatever savings he had, and no longer has his most precious possession.

He loved that damn boat, but as I comiserated with him I reminded him that it is just stuff, and you can always get more stuff (like George Carling said). Still it is heart breaking for him, that was his dream and now he is sharing a one bedroom apartment  with his sister. There is no work where he is, no work here, but we are hopeful.

He is smart, funny, talented and oh so good with people. Any company would be mad not to hire him.

The weather today is in keeping with the emotions of the day. It is wet sloppy cold, hovering between rain and snow. It is dark and dreary. Double crap day.

I am going to go away now and have my head adjusted (I know you are thinking the only thing that could do that is a pipe wrench) and maybe come back later, with a more optimistic outlook on life.

Okay it is several hours later, and I promise - no more doom and gloom. There is some lightness in the world, we just need to seek it out. I have experienced depression (that wet wool blanket on your brain and body) and I know you can't just shake it off, but sometimes we need to actually look for things that lift your spirits. It's sort of the theory of like attracts like. Everyone has something that lifts their spirits instantly, it could be your dog with a "so glad you're home" look on his face, or the smell of bread baking or the fact that Tax Canada made a mistake in your favour to the tune of $25,000.00.

A lot of what lifts our spirits has to do with our senses (fuck me I'm a genius - like no one ever realized that before!!). Music, that can change my whole outlook on a day. A couple of tunes by BEP, or maybe Pink and yes oh yes, some old time rock and roll will take me there.  Smell - the baking bread evokes the home and hearth of course, but smells like salt water, burning wood, new cut grass, orange peels all have the same power to trick my brain into sunshine mode.

Sometimes it takes a day of hibernating under the duvet with a really good book, or a soak in the tub, and sometimes just a walk. I find that as a people, a country - we are pretty cynical, it is in our humour, our outlook, heck we sure don't have "In God we Trust" on our currency for a very good reason. We trust no one. I am a born cynic and have to curb that tendency because it can be hurtful, dangerous and constricting. Cynics are not cheerful upbeat people, we can find the bad in anything.

If we win money, it isn't enough. Get a good deal on a house, and complain forever about the taxes and upkeep. Just for once, I would like something to be enough. Good enough. Fast enough. More than enough.
So maybe I have to adopt that attitude. I have enough. Of everything. What I have is pretty good. In fact it is great.

A sort of count your blessings mantra, because honestly I have been very blessed, I live indoors and eat warm food. I have a good income, I am pretty well educated, I have a great home, I have some good friends, I have two dogs (what can I say, they're pretty darn good except for that Chihuahua thing).

So this is where I take that step off the cliff, what's that quote about learning to fly?

“When you have come to the edge Of all light that you know And are about to drop off into the darkness Of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly”

It's about having some faith, which all things considered has always fallen in the realm of religion, and I've never been a camp follower, so let's take it out of the religious conotation and just say, have faith in yourself, your life and your ability to survive and prosper. Just remember that faith takes Courage My Love....

Courage My Love - Dec 13, 2010

Oh crap, it goes from boom to bust in a heartbeat doesn't it. I know why we have Christmas. It's about having light in the darkness, hope in the time of the hopeless, and thinking, maybe, just maybe, it will work out, the sun will come back, the land will warm, spring will arrive and we will move from death to the birth of everything.

I find December is the hardest month. People die, lose their jobs, go broke, get lost, meet tragedy. Makes me want to hibernate.

What really started me on this rant, was work. All my whinging aside, this is a terrific place to work, the people are soso but that happens everywhere and now I cannot see how this can get better. For the last two years, this place has defied the rules of economic gravity. We were buffeted from the storms. The ships came in, the vessels unloaded and it never seemed to stop. Now it has stopped. There are so few ships in, no vehicles on the ground, 3/4 of the union laid off. I have a total of 7 people on this shift this week and next week doesn't look much better.

I hate, hate hate the thought of looking for work again. I am too old and too cranky to sit through bullshit interviews trying to convince some moron that I can do the job on offer, when in fact I could do his in a heartbeat, but not trying to seem too cocky or arrogant when I really want to yell at the top of my lungs "Hire me, you wanker, it'll be the only good thing you've ever done for this company".

Which gets me thinking about great jobs I have had, bad jobs I have had, and the times I fucked up on jobs and the other times where I was freakin great.

One of the ones I hated was the one I moved from the Okanagan to take. It sounded good, it paid well but nobody told me the President was a raving lunatic. A smart lunatic but a lunatic none the less. This guy was really bright in the business sense, I actually learned some stuff from him, but he was so incredibly socially inept, so fumbling a human being, so arrogant, so not aware of others around him, it was very funny and at the same time very sad. My job was to run the company which was divided into three divisions. Business was good, the plan was to free up the president so he could "develop" business, what ever that meant. My first clue should have been my office. It was on the second floor, at the far end of a board room, you actually had to walk through the board room to get to it.

That meant everytime there was a meeting, I could either stay in my office with the door closed or walk through someone else's meeting. It went downhill from there. I think what he really wanted was a fan club. I knew right away I wasn't going to be in it. The largest part of the business was run by a guy that reported to me, only he never reported to me. He was massively depressed and would sit in our meetings and stare at the wall. It was like talking to a rock.  Perhaps he felt overlooked, thought he should have the position not me, what ever it was I could not get to the root of it.

Things came to a head, about 11 months in, when someone asked me how I liked the place, and I said, I don't actually. The President and I sat down, he said he didn't want someone on his team that wasn't 100% there and committed. I said fair enough. I did not do well on that job, it never clicked, it never felt right, I felt out of place and I never hit it off with the guy, practically from day one. I believe I gave him some good work, not my best, but I did no harm. I went and had a look at their website tonight, and I know he is smart. In this downturn economy, he has invested millions in new technology. Smart move. He believes in balanced books at all times, and taught me to never let a problem get out of hand, to deal with it immediately.

Of the jobs I have liked and done really well, several come to mind. The last was the one before the one I hated, does that make sense? It was a small town with a surprising manufacturing base, and I was hired by a little company to run it. I ran it from 2.3 million in sales upto 12.5 million in sales in less than 3 years. I brought them new technology, did a complete overhaul on the facility and grounds and the employees all got the best bonus they had ever gotten (about $8000 each). It was a tough job, but so rewarding because I had a virtual blank slate of a company, and got to put into motion, programs and projects that had big returns.  They are still doing well, despite the downturn in the economy.

Okay, so I have been working since I was 12 years old. I have worked as a candy counter clerk in a theatre, a crossing gaurd at a school, a weather person at a weather station, helper in a kitchen, worker on an animal farm (the worst), a waitress - both in a bar and in restaurants, a store clerk. All those jobs seemed to be going no where, so I went back to school. Then I worked as a machinist, an assistant foreman, a foreman, a Supervisor, a Manager, an Operations Manager, and an HR Manager. Much more satisfying work and the pay was much much higher. So in the last 46 years I have worked in about 25 different places but the bulk of time was spent and money was made with 10 companies that range from super mega companies like McDonnell Douglas to Westinghouse to Daimler Chrysler and all the way down to little companies like that "One that can't be named that I wrote about above and the medium large one I am at now (shall also remain nameless but is a company that deals in logistics).  I never managed to stay anywhere more than 7 years because I mostly always got a better offer and moved on, occasionally got canned (twice) or just left because I was bored.

I am not sure which of the gods I have pissed off, must be the god of the lottery, because I will never be rich and I will always have to work, and working, well working takes courage my love....

Courage My Love - Dec 10, 2010

Life is getting harder as we draw down to the darkest days of  December. Came into work today and there is a massive layoff, down to about 62 people left. Not the greatest timing for sure, but I am extra nervous. We have long been sheltered from the blasts of the spiralling economy, but perhaps our turn has come.

Fuck me, I am 58 years old, and I don't want to look for another job. This one is just great, suits me to a T. It's certainly not demanding, sometimes annoying but mostly it pays well and the benefits are great. I have a five year plan and scrambling for work was not in it.

I feel deeply for all those laid off, at any time but especially at this time. Every person laid off is a family, a house, a mortgage. We can all take a little hit, but if it goes on too long, then we never recover. My plan was to get the hell out of debt, which I am doing very well, and sock a bunch away, and then head up the coast. I want to own everything cash money when I retire, no outstanding payments on anything. Right now I have rent, the car payment, debt repayment, the utilities, insurance, the list is endless when there is no money coming in. I mean, I am okay, not laid off, but it won't be long at this rate.

So I won't blow a wad on presents this year, and I'll certainly stay out of the casino for a while.... being on the bitter edge of poverty takes Courage My Love....

Courage My Love - Dec 9 2010

Oh it was chilly at work today. The jackass comment did not sit well with the day crew. Oh well, I knew it was wrong, I apologized for it, so you know what? Let it go.

Somethings, like emotions, are not good to hang on to. I can remember hanging on to something that annoyed me and it sucked the life right out of me. It sits in a dark little corner of your brain, and you keep going back to it like your tongue to a sore in your mouth. You don't want to, you don't mean to, but you just can't stop. And each time you do, it hurts a little more, it digs in and twists a bit. I had to let it go, before it turned into a big nasty boil and exploded in my brain.

Maybe that is what happens to evil people, they can't let it go, so it grows, it breeds, it becomes a virus on their soul. Then again, maybe they were just born that way.

I have been thinking about Christmas. It has lost it's lustre for me over the years, and to be honest it was only ever about "getting stuff" for me anyway. I love to see the excitement (greed) on the faces of little children as they get caught up in the whole Christmas shenanigans, but is it real? Is there any wonder and awe left in the world. I was raised as a "sort of" Christian, meaning that my parents were Christians but I was never baptised, I went to Sunday School and I sang in the church choir but I never embraced the whole idea of Jesus. I certainly admire the architecture though, some of the best in the world. I could never wrap my logical mind around the concept of "faith" and certainly the basic tenets of the religion require some suspension of logic, but maybe I missed something.

Once in a while I will feel a connection with something larger than life, not an intelligent in the way we know it being, but a sense of ordered chaos and the immensity of eternity. I can usually get the same feeling looking at my bank statement. Seriously, the only time I have felt a spiritual connection is when I used to go out hiking in the wilderness or sailing up the coast. It was nature and wildness that could bring me to a serene state of contemplation, an almost religious experience (or at least how I imagined that might be).

So by not embracing much of the Christian faith, I don't get to use the afterlife ticket. I don't have to be good to get into heaven, and I do not have to have my sins forgiven to get into heaven, because really there is no heaven. This is it. That's all she wrote. No do over. No second chance. Life the life you got.

If there is rebirth, perhaps reincarnation, what the hell good is it if we can't remember this one? What if we were reborn into 1955. And could remember our first trip through? Me, I'd be buying Microsoft stock, buying up land and staying out of tall buildings. Maybe if you're really really good in this life, you get to have another one. And if you're really bad, you get to have two...

So, if this is the only time you get to ride the train, the only time to get to spend with people you love forever, what are you waiting for....have fun, because eternity takes courage my love!!

Courage My Love - December 8, 2010

Okay - not a great day. Starting at midnight last night, I went to the casino and lost $180, so much for the $700 I won on Monday. Then I could not sleep, went to bed at 4 am and got up at noon. Had to go into work early, stopped off to pick up the meeting treats (yes I have to bribe people to come to my meetings).

Our meeting today is one which occurs once a month, we have the shifts cross over and that way we feel information gets given to everyone as a group. To say the two shifts do not get along is an understatement. The day shift resents the fact that the afternoon shift has such a high shift premium (about $3 per hour) and the afternoon shift resents the fact that the dayshift is a bunch of lazy bastards. Their words, not mine.

Typical of these meetings, we review the key performance indicators for our shop, which for us are safety, quality and productivity. Our stats are not bad, some have improved dramatically, some are up and down, overall, with all the changes we have been through, the performance is not bad. The question was asked if on our latest installtion, we could have one employee work on one car instead of splitting the work. This allowed for greater accountability. This lead to a discussion of what we would be doing in 2011 and that was reviewing invidual performance, since you have to account for your work everyday. So I asked who was the jackass that locked a car out side the shop and took the keys. Several people said that was namecalling, perhaps it was. Perhaps I should have said it was a jackass thing to do, rather than specify an individual jackass.

Some kind of karma happening, I guess I should not call people names.... my glasses broke. One of those tiny little screws that keep the lens in. Crap and double crap. So off I go looking for repair equipment. I found needle nose pliers, crazy glue and fine gauge wire and proceeded to  implement a repair on my specs. Crazy glue did not work, it only managed to muddle up my lens. The fine wire through the hole the screw was in, loop it around and twist tie it. Tada! Out of a shit moment comes a bit of something right!

Okay, going back to the beginning of this post, at the casino... last week I played twice (go in with $40 and come out with $300). So I went on Monday night with my $40 and I am playing my favourite machine "the double white orchids". Cool machine, when 2 white orchids appear on the centre line from top to bottom, it triggers a free game feature and you get 10 free games. During the free games it can retrigger two white orchids again and you get 10 more free games. So I was playing my usual 80 cent hit (the big dollar ones scare me) and it hit from 10 free games. Yahoo! Well it hit again. Yahoo. Now I have 20 free games. And it hit again, and again, and again, and again, all the way up to 110 free games. Insane. The machine played by itself for about 1/2 hour and I ended up with $700.

Casino winnings are like free money, it has no value. It's not like you worked for it, or saved it up, therefore it should be applied to no other purpose than making you happy. So I got the dog groomed today - and I bought a gift certificate for Brandy from Ikea. And both of those things made me happy. Good thing I did that because guess what happened then...

Figuring with my luck, lightening would strike again, I went back last night, Ended up plunking $180 in the machines and nada. Oh I went up a bit and down a bit, but eventually, it just sucked that money out of my purse right back into the machine. Should I tempt the fates again????

At the end of the day, we all fall victim to our vices and weaknesses so try not to be too hard on yourself and remember, Courage my love!

Courage My Love - December 7 - 2010

Okay, back at work. We have a new installation tonight, so there is some training going on. This installation is a slightly higher degree of technical difficulty compared to what we usually do. That said, there will be some people incapable of doing this, or they will be able to do it, but be so freaking slow I want to pick up the Navigation unit and beat them about the head and ears. I call them my "money makers" which is totally a misnomer because they perform at less than half the output of anyone else and keep saying "I'm trying my best!" Well how's this bubba, your best just ain't good enough. If everyone worked like you do, we might as well just close the doors because we are losing money the minute you step on the shop floor.

While I understand and appreciate the history of unionism, and I grew up in a union town, with a union company and a father who was a shop steward in the union, I believe the time has come where unions have outgrown their purpose. Today they are but the right hand of management, at best, they support management and at worst they protect those who should honestly be fired. When I worked on the railway, for a fine Canadian institution who shall remain nameless, I caught a union brother in the act of masturbating. Yes, choking the chicken, playing the pipe, what ever you want to call it. He was supposed to be working, but found something much more fun to do. Where was he doing this? Why, in a rail car, one with a private room, had it's own couch, sink, washroom, everything the local jerkoff needs. And what happened to him, you ask? Nothing. Nada, zip, zilch. There was no obvious defense, but the union wanted it kept under wraps (so to speak). Just think of that guy next time you board a train.

The brothers on the union movement fall back on the false pride of their history and as noble as it was, most of them are in the union because they couldn't keep a job in the real world. And speaking of brothers, they have a long way to go, before they treat everyone equally, and that would be the sisters I am referring to. Women in the union still have a long way to go to get equal access to jobs and training that their union brothers assume is their manifest destiny.

I have dealt with 5 or 6 unions in my career, both as a member, or as management and they are more or less, leaves of the same tree. There are no issues left for them to fight for. The wages are good, the benefits extraordinary, and even management has been to charm school in the last twenty years, so bullies are mostly gone. The one item they cannot control is job security, because it is a basic tenet of business that the most competitive will survive, and the least will die off. What makes companies competitive, is controlled wages, high quality and the ability to change quickly to meet the market needs. Unions are so entrenched in the old ways, they refuse to change, their job is their job, and they won't do one iota of work that is not in their job description. This not only cripples a company, eventually it kills it.

Unionism protects the employee who is  not interested in working, it stifles creativity and it is the single biggest factor in our work ethic going to hell in a handcart. Now ask me how I really feel...

Times have changed, the world has changed, and still the old ways struggle to hang on. Courage my love!

Courage My Love

I have called my blog "Courage My Love" because life takes courage. I haven't blogged before, I keep journals so I am looking at this as kind of an electronic journal.

I am at work right now, which if you think of it, is pretty cool, because how often do you have a job with no one looking over your shoulder. I am, in effect, the looker. The supervisor. It is the night shift. No distractions, no drama, just work. Our work is mundane, and repetitive but there are compensations. Like the location - on the banks of the mighty Fraser River. And the fact that there is no one here but us. The dayshift has gone home amidst its chaos and churning energy and left behind the quiet stillness of the night.

Today I joined Facebook. I feel kind of sick about it. It's very intrusive. People knocking at your door wanting to be friends, what the hell, if I wanted you for a friend I woud have called you. It also read my contact list on my email and asked me if I wanted any of those people to be my "friends".  How creepy. I didn't even use my real name, just to keep traffic down from my door. I went to visit my daughters Face Book page (it was her idea after all that I join) and it was like a crazy house. All kinds of people dropping in, dropping comments, it was a very crowded room. I rode the technological wave - I grew up on computers - my generation invented them, made them, sold them, programmed them and here I am like some flotsam or jetsam on the beach of technology. Ah.... Courage my love!